Polygamy: Not Just for Mormons

Although it has somewhat of a cult following, "Big Love" is one of the better shows on television these days. Not because the acting is superb, not because it teaches us about the realities of a modern polygamist household, and not because it's friggin' hysterical. All of these things are true. But the real reason it excels is because it illustrates the importance of dating multiple people (although, in the case of "Big Love" it's being married to multiple women, which I must say is quite an extreme and pretty sexist - but it still makes for a good lead in).

While monogamy tends to become a personal desire as we get older and want to find "the right person," it's important to play the field until you find that one guy or girl. How are you supposed to know what your favorite meal is if you don't sample everything on the menu? I'm not saying that you should whore yourself out and sleep with every guy or girl who makes themselves available to you (or your bed), but what ever happened to the traditional game of dating?

Women complain about dating in San Francisco because all the good guys are either taken or gay. This is a myth; and this myth causes women to choose to slut themselves out because they believe men will like them if they sleep with them. While this may be true for a lot of men, THAT'S NOT THE KIND OF GUY YOU WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH. The kind of guy you're looking for doesn't want to sleep with you on the first date, especially if you're blacked out and can't control your own tongue. So I encourage you to be coy, flirt, go out for coffee or a walk in the park, give your number out, and kissing on the first date is okay but don't give away all your eggs! And never, ever Facebook friend some guy minutes after he sneaks out of your bedroom. That just screams "desperate stalker."

On the other side of the spectrum, most men are dopes when it comes to dating. Even though women like the chase, we still want you to call us! I realize that's a lot to ask because apparently in this day in age making a phone call is like sending a smoke signal. But if you like someone, take them out, on a real date. It doesn't have to be a fancy shmancy dinner, but something other than Starbucks would be nice. And if you like someone a lot, try to keep your emotions at bay for the first couple of weeks because no girl wants to date a sissy boy. And if you are intensely and unnecessarily emotional on the first couple of dates, you will be dropped and we won't be subtle about it. And if you really can't control your emotions, find a girl who is damaged and needs that kind of attention.

It's okay to date more than one person at once, as long as you're not exclusive with one of them (and you should know if you are because you would have had a D.T.R. talk - that's Define the Terms of the Relationship for those of you who don't like acronyms). And if you're worried about one of the people finding out and hurting their feelings, then a) don't go somewhere that you might run into one of them, and b) don't date people who are friends or who are connected by someone who likes to gossip.

If you need more advice, I'm available 9-5, Monday thru Friday. I don't charge, but I expect a drink here and there.